Assembling My Peace

Have you ever noticed how every time an article, post, or story focuses on a particular group, there’s always someone in the comments yelling, “BUT WHAT ABOUT ME?” or “NOT EVERYONE!” As if every single thing in existence has to include every single person or else it’s somehow offensive?

Why do people feel the need to insert themselves into things that aren’t about them?

Newsflash—not everything has to cater to everyone. Some things are meant for a specific audience, and that’s perfectly fine. A post about stay-at-home moms doesn’t need to pause and acknowledge working moms, dads, or people without kids. A story celebrating Black entrepreneurs doesn’t have to add a disclaimer about non-Black business owners. A mental health article about anxiety doesn’t have to include a footnote for people who don’t experience it.

Yet, time and time again, people act as if leaving out a group is the same as attacking them.

The ‘Not Everyone’ Syndrome

We see it all the time. Someone shares a post about struggling as a single parent, and here come the comments:

“Well, not ALL single parents struggle.”

“Two-parent households have struggles too!”

Or someone writes about women’s experiences in the workplace, and inevitably, someone chimes in with:

“Not ALL men do that.”

“What about men’s struggles?”

And then, of course, there’s race.

A post about Black mental health? “Well, mental health is important for EVERYONE.”

A discussion on racism? “Well, I’VE never owned slaves, so this doesn’t apply to me.”

A conversation about white privilege? “Not all white people have it easy!”

The pattern is always the same—whenever a conversation centers marginalized people, there’s an immediate urge from (usually) white voices to make sure they aren’t left out.

And sure, these statements might be technically true, but that’s not the point. The point is that this particular post isn’t about everyone—it’s about a specific experience, and that’s okay.

Why do some people do this? It’s human nature to want to be seen, but it’s something deeper when it comes to whiteness. Western culture, particularly in the U.S., has long centered whiteness as the “default.” White people are used to seeing themselves reflected in everything—history books, TV shows, media narratives—so when something doesn’t include them, I guess for some (see, some, calm down!) it feels unnatural. It feels like exclusion, even when it isn’t.

This is why conversations about race make a lot of white people uncomfortable. Instead of listening, many feel an urge to defend themselves, prove they’re the “exception,” or redirect the conversation toward something they can relate to. It’s a reflex that stems from privilege—the privilege of rarely having to consider what it feels like to be left out of the narrative.

The truth is, we don’t need to be the main character in every conversation. Some things just aren’t about us, and that’s perfectly fine. If you see a post that doesn’t apply to you, you should, by now, be aware that you have options:

1. Keep scrolling. Not everything requires your input.

2. Listen and learn. Maybe you’re not included because this isn’t your lived experience. That’s okay! You can still learn from it.

3. Create your own space. If you feel like a perspective is missing, write your own post about it instead of hijacking someone else’s.

At the end of the day, the world doesn’t need to constantly reassure white people that they exist. Not every article, post, or story needs a disclaimer for every possible exception. Sometimes, things are meant for a particular audience—and that’s not exclusion. That’s just reality.

And guess what? That’s okay. Why? Because not everything is about us all of the time.